What’s Your Money Story

Money can elicit many emotions: fear, guilt, shame, security, love, envy, belonging, rejections, anxiety, stress, happiness, and anger, just to name a few. You can experience the aforementioned emotions at any point in life, but there seems to be a difference when it comes to money. The feelings are more intense and seem to linger after the fact. That is exactly why women are encouraged to go beyond learning basic money management. It’s necessary for them to explore their emotional relationship with money.

Many women assume they are uncomfortable with money based on the balances reflected in their bank accounts or the amount owed to the credit card companies. The numbers are just numbers. The seeds of discomfort were planted long before then. Most money stories start in childhood. You may have unintentionally inherited money management tips from one or both parents. Maybe you experienced poverty in your teenage or early adult years and it caused you to become extremely frugal. You could have been spoiled all of your life and now you can’t control your spending. There are so many ways that your relationship with money could have developed and only by doing deep introspective work will you be able to pinpoint what’s causing you trouble now. 

Imagine that you are giving a passionate speech to an audience of your peers. You practiced for weeks and know everything about your topic. You’re in a packed auditorium and you’re on the stage killing it. The only problem is….YOU ARE NAKED! Not one stitch of clothing. That feeling right there is how exposed people can feel when their money secrets are laid bare.

Your personal relationship with money can bring up strong feelings of shame. Shame can come from secretly competing with others. Shame can be rooted in comparing your life to others. Comparison always has been and always will be the thief of joy.

In years past, society told women that they didn’t need to know anything about money. They were to be wholly dependent on me for their financial well-being. Be it saving, investing, paying bills, or budgeting, women were supposed to stay out of it. While in a relationship, you should have trust, but it is unhealthy to completely rely on another person for your financial wellness. You should at least know what is going on. Should illness or death befall that person, where would that leave you? NEWSFLASH: Meeting your basic needs doesn’t mean that person has your best interest at heart nor does it mean that you have a good relationship with money.

At the end of the day, it’s important to know that money can protect or propel you into both positive and negative situations. Money cannot protect you from abuse, accidents, addiction, or disease. In fact, money can sometimes make those issues worse. 

It’s time to stop having fake conversations about money – where you can find the good deals, the rising price of gas, child care costs, or how much you’ve spent on groceries this week. You have to admit that you have a love/hate relationship with money. Many times you love and hate money for the same reason: because of the things that it can buy. What’s needed is a heart-centered attitude towards learning about your money story and rewriting the parts that no longer serve you.

Sidney Palmer

𝗠𝗶𝘀𝘀 𝗣𝗮𝗹𝗺𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗦𝗲𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗲𝗿 𝟴, 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟭. 𝗦𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗗𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗮𝘀, 𝗧𝗲𝘅𝗮𝘀. 𝗦𝗵𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗳𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘅𝗶𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘄𝗲𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝟭𝟬𝟬 𝗽𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘀. 𝗦𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗵𝗮𝗶𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝗲𝘆𝗲𝘀. 𝗦𝗶𝗱𝗻𝗲𝘆 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄𝗻 𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗲𝗮𝗿 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗿 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗰𝘁𝘀.

𝗠𝗶𝘀𝘀 𝗣𝗮𝗹𝗺𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝘁𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗼𝗼𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗮𝗿𝗺 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗲𝗿; “𝗕𝗲𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘂𝗹” 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝗳𝘁 𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘀𝘁, 𝗮 𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗯𝗼𝘄 𝗼𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗺, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗮 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝗰𝗸.

𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗼𝗯𝘁𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗯𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗮𝗻𝗱𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗰.𝗰𝗼𝗺

𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗶𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗻 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘂𝗹 𝗯𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗲𝗼𝗽𝗹𝗲.